Mikes Writing

redoing things

One of my desires for writing is to be able to just write. To sit down however many times a day I feel it and have the way to get things down. Lately it has been these meandering thoughts on retirement and how people I know settle for a life in America they dislike. They want change. Want to find something perhaps new. Or at least something different. And why not?

Life is already hard enough with work and life splits. I lived that for some years before I went. There is no real split and I ended up working way too many hours and new projects I was given always seemed to fall over the Christmas and new year holidays. My manager would tell me,

better take that vacation now Mike

And he was right.

So when I left years ago it was with the desire to never be held to things like tasks and goals and milestones. How long are we supposed to have those things? Why? What is it about life and the precarious work balance that makes us think we forever need to track things. There is no requirement when retirement strikes to just accept the status quo. To just take what hand is thrown on the table and feel that's it.

Many people decide it's not enough. Not nearly enough. How much are we supposed to sacrifice. To give and give up. In my case taking a valued assignment for months in India hastened the end at home. I think now it would have happened anyways. It just made adultery easier when I was gone.

I was thinking about the being gone part. Like what is it that causes even divorced families to fall apart more. An acquaintance told me his American family including sons and daughters refused to talk to him. Now going on 5 years. They gave him a range of reasons. He was evil. He did something solely for himself. Even after being divorced and suffering with the last pangs of work and losing the house, car, people. He was evil.

Each person faces their own dilemma. Their own choice. It comes down to deciding to take life back and do something to bring some sense of happiness back. Everyone deserves some sense of joy in life. We should not pay for a thing like adultery vicariously when we were the victim.

I finally told my daughter after one discussion on blame and bad life choices I supposedly engaged in that,

everything that happened after the cheating is all linked and it's your mom that owns it.

This was not an outcome my ex wife wanted I gather. It's difficult after almost 20 years to be held responsible. To be told nothing has changed. That she owns what she did. We can move on. Forgive. Accept. Live with. That's a thing that took me years. But then of course it's all brought back up. I find the same old tired bullshit reasons waiting for me.

Now it's easier because I'm gone. Having time zones and miles causes a huge space time disruption and then another can tell me about bad life choices. I'm sorry. I never asked you to rate my life choices. You have no right. Just like I never rated my daughter's poor choices. I just helped her. Like I think a dad is supposed to. It's the old saying about judging in the bible.

Judge not, that ye be not judged.

For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.

And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?

source: Matthew 7:1-3

So redoing things is the premise. But really it's renewing things. To move to a thing not despised in its lack but something untried. Now that's some change folks. We need that in our lives. No one can stay with the things then but I am also human. I see my friend Ed and what he faced. I see what I faced. We both did a thing. We were busy redoing things. To create a final chapter or two of life we could live.

That's really what this writing has always been about. It's hidden message with the photos and little commentary. Take on a life you want. Be afraid. Go at your speed. But just fucking go. You deserve.

coffee out and a new month comes

Now it's September and this month means it is time to get a new retirement visa extension. Getting one in Cambodia is pretty easy. I don't do any forms or have to visit immigration or have to show some monthly income. I've heard that is coming. When it does, there are a bunch of persons that will not be able to stay. Some other people work under the radar I think but also take the retirement visa. That's not allowed either.

I'm particularly lucky with what I make monthly for us. It means we have a different level of life here. My wife enjoys it more because I guess I have aged out to wanting just the walk and coffee and writing. She likes kitchen gadgets. Mostly I think she likes cooking for me. She is very dedicated to me which is a normal value Khmer women have toward families and their spouses. I would never take any of it for granted. What she cooks and what she does for me is really up to her. I ask for little really. After some years she knows I like the coffee out and also going to viva for beers but taking the walk and enjoying the peaceful times mornings.

Writing across the days...

It's how I enjoy writing now. Rarely does life here end on a day. It's like the whole concept of time drifts away in favor of whatever Now means. See you tomorrow for some coffee and some thoughts. Not necessarily in that order.

take a break in Battambang

Battambang in 2025 when we visited. I loved the colors that morning of flowers and the bridge off in the distance. We both particularly like Battambang. My wife because of the wonderful Indian food there and I like just walking wherever. We have been many times because it's a get away type place for us. Easy to do in a few hours and most things there are easy to do. We don't do much in the way of tourist things although I do enjoy walking and finding more buddhist temples and monasteries. The city is full of them it seems.

Battambang 2025

And that's the days. The getting away. The going. Living in Southeast Asia has meant seeing that getting old is not a sentence. It's not business as usual. It's about life. Redoing life into something you can do. So why not do it?